Beca was confused
by MRTJE
Summary: AU Beca was in a loving marriage, her career was doing well, but something wasn't quite right. Maybe spending time with 3 of her best friends from college, (Chloe, Aubrey & Stacie) will help.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: the characters belong to Pitch Perfect and Kay Cannon

Chapter 1:

Beca sat on the grass at the lookout point, looking over to the hills on the horizon. It was her favourite place to come when she needed to think, or wanted something nice to look at as she listened to music. It somehow calmed her to see the wide expanses of mountains, especially since she lived in the city. For her, the only thing that came close to how she felt about music was the feeling of being in a wide open space. While it may seem opposite to her dreams (which required her to live in cities) she just found comfort in knowing that she was alone with space around her. It didn't matter whether it was the beach, ocean, rainforest, park, or grassy plains that she was looking at, as long as it was mostly empty of people.  
She was wearing her large headphones and was seemingly engrossed in listening to her latest discovery and working out what she could do with the sound to make it even better. Give it the Beca stamp, so to speak. However, only half of her brain was listening. The other half was trying to work out why even though she had been married to Jesse for the past few years and they had a good marriage, she was drawn more and more to her friend Chloe. Basically, Beca was confused. She didn't want to go to Jesse about this, and obviously couldn't chat to Chloe about it. So here she was at the lookout.

Beca had everything that she thought she had ever wanted. She was running her own business, which was going really well. She was married to the sweetest guy she had ever known. One who would never intentionally hurt her. One who pursued her and loved her despite her walls and deep hurts. He had understood how important to her the Bella girls were, even though he was not that close to most of his team the Treblemakers. He managed to cope with the fact that 3 out of their 4 years of college his team lost to hers. The only year they won, the Bellas were suspended from competition, but Beca tried not to rub that in. The girls did win the World's after all. Proving, at least for a short while, that girls in fact do run the world, or at least they can win against the world. Their relationship could have been quite volatile to have all that competition, but they did manage it ok. Probably because Beca was the one who was more competitive. It could also have been that Jesse was so happy that he won, and kept, the girl. Beca was even pregnant with their first child (and actually looking forward to meeting the little person they made together).

She had everything she had ever wanted, so why did she find herself constantly wondering what Chloe was doing, or wanting to hear Chloe's voice. She loved to listen to her sing, couldn't get enough of it in fact. It was a graceful soprano that matched so well with her lower voice. Sure Beca could sing higher with Chloe, but the harmonies she created to go alongside Chloe would make anyone's skin tingle. When she was anxious, the only person who could guarantee to calm her down was Chloe. This, if she was honest, was quite a bit at the moment. She was unsure how becoming a mother would change her. Her mind was churning and it revolved around just one person. She was starting to haunt her every move. All she thought about was Chloe, Chloe, and Chloe.

Beca was distressed really. But as was her custom, she just shoved it out of her mind a little longer and closed her eyes, and lay down on the grass. The sun was nice and warm on her body, and Beca was finally feeling a little calm.

When she woke up, it was distinctly colder than when she fell asleep. Noticing that, she checked her watch. Seeing that it was after 5, she packed up the few belongings she had with her and walked back down the hill to the home that she shared with Jesse. As she was walking, she thought about the last several years.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Sure Chloe and Beca had shared lots of life together, they had been Bellas together for 4 years, even living in the same house for 3 of those. After college, they shared a place just the two of them for a year until Jesse and Beca were married.

On the wedding day, Chloe was standing there besides her as her best friend and her chief bridesmaid. Next to Chloe had been Stacie and Fat Amy (although choosing those 2 had been Beca's hardest job as she could have chosen Emily or Aubrey to be there too). Jesse had Benji as best man, that was a given, he was Jesse's roommate for all 4 years of college and stayed in constant contact after college too. However the biggest surprise of the wedding was Bumper, who at the end of first year of college no one would have guessed to be buddies with Jesse. Because of Fat Amy, however, Jesse and Bumper spent more and more time together as they were thrown together by the girls on a regular basis. It seemed a little lop-sided to have 3 women standing on Beca's side, and only 2 guys standing with Jesse. However, Jesse had spent so much of his time after college chasing jobs scoring movies, that he didn't have much time for people. He was glad to have the 2 of them still beside him, since he wasn't close to most of the Trebles anymore, and didn't have anyone at work yet who he was that close to. All the Bellas had of course come to the wedding, and they had all of Jesse's family there. Beca's parents managed to be in the same room for the night, even her step-monster behaved.

Jesse and Beca had settled down in Atlanta. That's where Beca's company "On Pitch" was based, and also where most of the Bellas still lived. With Jesse working on movie scores, he was only needed occasionally on the sets (mostly in LA, but sometimes in Montreal, or New York), the rest of the time he could work in the studio, any studio, so the one that they had set up in their house specifically for him was perfect. He was away for only a few months of the year, and neither of them was sad to not have moved to LA, even if it was their dream once upon a time.

Beca had worked for "Residual Heat" for a few years. Once she felt that she had the confidence and experience she needed, she struck out on her own. She took Emily with her as her first artist, since it was Beca who produced her in the first place when she was just an intern. She wasn't really on her own, but instead ended up working with most of her Bella sisters. She rightly figured that she would need the help, and the collaboration, just like she did with the Bellas' competition sets. Whilst she was blessed with amazing musical talent, there is nothing quite like collaboration, and that was why after a few years, she had almost all of them working with her on various things. Chloe, however, was her business partner, having been there the whole time. After graduation, Beca and Aubrey convinced her that dancing exotically, while it would gain her lots of money, did not have the future that she wanted. Instead they encouraged her to try her hand at teaching kids to sing. This worked out well. Even if Chloe wasn't really rolling in money, she loved life and the spark that flowed out of her everyday was still there. Singing, and teaching others, turned out to be a passion that both Chloe and Beca knew was vitally important to Chloe. When they started the company, they made Chloe part-time so she could continue to teach. As a bonus, one of her original students later joined their books and went on to be reasonably successful. Knowing that Chloe was helping produce the stars of the future as well as just allowing people to enjoy music and have fun singing was awesome. This is why their business arrangement worked so well for them. That, and that Beca and Chloe knew each other backwards, and were so comfortable with each other.

But Beca now found herself wondering if maybe they are too comfortable?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

By now Beca had arrived back home. Jesse was working away in the studio, so she headed up to their room to lie down and think while she waited for him to finish.

Before Beca could really consider too much about her friendship with Chloe, she found herself thinking about another relationship she had that was bugging her.

Beca thought back to her ex from high school. It hurt her to think about him, and she really didn't want to. However, she somehow knew that she would not be able to move on from this unsettled phase of her life if she didn't deal with some of the hurt and emotions that she had pent up for so many years.

When she considered that she was only 16 when she met him she was blown away. It seemed like such a young age to her now, but at the time, she thought she knew what she wanted/needed. He was tall and wide. He was so soft and cute. To her he seemed like a big teddy bear she couldn't wait to hold onto. It seemed like the answer to her need to be close to someone, someone who could protect her from the hurt that she had experienced from her parents' divorce. He was so much bigger than her, and should have been able to protect her. Little did she know until it was too late…

It started off slowly enough. They hung out and went on dates, but once it became physical it wasn't quite what she had dreamt of. Their first kiss came after one of his big bear hugs. She hadn't really wanted to let him go, and suddenly her lips were meeting his. It didn't take too many weeks for that to escalate to more.

Beca was often confronted by annoyed friends who were waiting for her to come inside to music practice. They knew she was there, that she was outside with HIM. Beca was annoyed that they interrupted her just for practice, but deep down she knew she was in the wrong, so each time she sullenly accepted the admonishment and went inside to practice.

As their relationship heated up, she found herself in situations that she wouldn't have guessed herself to be in. Like the time she was making out with him in a park (they were lying down on a blanket, and he was on top of her, and it was not quite so innocent anymore). A little boy had walked past with his mum asking "Mummy what are they doing?" Much to Beca's embarrassment, the mum just grabbed the kid and walked off rather fast, not sure how to explain to her kid what he had seen.

Beca also found herself performing more explicit acts with her boyfriend in other public areas on a regular basis. When she expressed her concern and discomfort, he always made her feel bad. Not just bad, but blamed her for allowing it to happen. He also said that since she didn't complain at the time, she had no right to complain afterwards. This happened every time she expressed concern or didn't want to partake in activities of the sexual nature with him. She also started to realise that the things he wanted to do were all about him and his enjoyment. If she asked for something he would find a way out of it, whether by using disgust or another tactic. He was rather selfish, and after a while she began to see it.

He also often told her that if she didn't do what he wanted, he could get it elsewhere. This had her worried. What were these girls doing when she wasn't there? They didn't go to the same school, so he had plenty of time with them when she wasn't around. Why were they offering to sleep with a guy who was already taken? Why was he so happy to still be close to them? It did occur to her that this would have been a good time to say, "Ok, well if that's the way you feel, go ahead, sleep with her, what's stopping you? Not me clearly, I've had enough, I'm leaving!" But she never did. He had spent so much time making her feel bad, but at the same time, had her believing that he was the best she would or could do.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Sure there were some fun times. They both shared a love of music, and spent time together singing and listening to it. They both loved to shoot things, so spent hours in his room playing different game consoles together. They both shared similar style of clothes. She did love kissing him, it made her feel so good. The hormones running through her body would attest to that. Beca just wished he didn't emotionally manipulate her into more all the time.

One day she woke up and realised the cost of this relationship was too much and she broke it off with him. It was a huge effort on her part and it hurt her to do so. She had had enough of the way he treated her and as much as she thought that he was as good as she could do, she had had enough and wanted out. Later that night he rang her and seemed rather upset. He had tried to kill himself by walking in front of a moving truck. At the last moment, the driver saw him and swerved out of the way. Beca didn't know what to do with this information, so hung up.

The next day, she rang him to check on how he was going. He denied it all, claiming she was making it all up. She was furious and confused. Why was he doing this to her? The emotional toll was too much. She crept into a huge depression that no one knew what to do with. It took all of her effort (when she wasn't sleeping during classes), and so many arguments with her parents for to even finish her last year and a half of high school. She used to have so many dreams, and for the moment at least, they were all dead.

This was part of the reason her parents had forced her to go to Barden. Even though they didn't know what she had been through, her parents knew that Beca had so much potential. They wanted to make sure she used it. Her father wanted her to join a group on campus so she could see what was out there that was good, and maybe she would be happy again. Given how well she had done at school even despite the lack of effort, there was no way she should be wasting her life. They just didn't know how to show her this, so the solution was forcing her to attend Barden.

By the time she was finishing high school, she recognised her ex for what he was, a user, a guy who psychologically abused her. She managed to recover enough to start dreaming again. She was still damaged, and that was obvious to all when she turned up to Barden for college. But at least she had a goal. She was going to be a music producer. That goal was part of what ensured her survival and was how she had managed to live on.

It was only now as she looked at it again that she realised that she had been bullied into consent for many of the sexual activities they had done. While she needed to take some responsibility for her actions, and she did (probably too much, and too much guilt, but that was for another time), she realised that he had also sexually abused her. She was so hurt she didn't know how to handle it. It made her cry so hard that she couldn't even see out of her eyes, her whole body hurt, it hurt so much she wished she was depressed instead. The absence of feelings and emotion she knew so well, was so much better than how she felt right now (and that says so much)! He had violated her so much more than anyone else had. He had hurt her more than all the events surrounding her parent's divorce. She had let him in, even though she had vowed to never let anyone in. She saw him as a refuge and someone who cared. Instead he used her and abused her, leaving her more damaged than before. She had re-avowed to never let anyone that close ever again. And she had managed to. That is until she met Chloe and Jesse. Between them they slowly proved they did care for her. They showed her that she was lovable, that she was important. They didn't use her, it was not all up to her to provide what they needed. Instead they cared for her, and in time she was able to relax and care for them too.

The more she thought about it, the more she realised how lucky she truly was to have met Jesse, and to be loved by him. She wandered through their place until she found him in his studio working. She interrupted him quickly, pulled him in for a passionate kiss. After they pulled apart, she thanked him for being the guy he is and for loving her. She then let him go back to work and wandered outside for some air.

In no time at all Beca found herself standing outside Chloe's door.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Aubrey was still out in the woods barking orders, she was so successful at barking orders that she wasn't sure she could ever bring herself to leave. However she missed the music. It called to her from deep within. Like the beating of African drums, it was something that she could no longer ignore. Over the time that "On Pitch" had been running, Aubrey had been called on a few times to help with the business side of things. This made sense as it was one of her strengths, and she had been in her own business for much longer than Chloe and Beca. However, in the world of "death-defying team-building exercises" there was little room to explore music. Maybe Chloe and Beca had the answer for her.

Aubrey picked up the phone and it didn't take many rings for it to be answered. "Hi, anyone get caught in a bear trap today?" Aubrey could almost hear the huge grin on the other end of the telephone.

"Not yet, but there is still a few hours of light left!"

"Well, since we aren't there, the odds are pretty good for your safety record." Chloe quipped.

Aubrey chuckled quietly to herself. It was true, aside from the Bellas, only 2 other people had managed to ignore the signs and get caught in all her years of operation. And they were both quite drunk. The Bellas had managed to get 2 of them trapped in the bear nets, even when they only spent 2 nights at her retreat. Both Beca and Fat Amy had been ok. Unlike Beca who they rushed to help and rescue, they had left Fat Amy hanging there for an hour or so. As a group they figured that she would have to wait to see Bumper until the next day anyway, so there was no rush. They also wanted to see if hanging there brought any more clarity to her, considering how long it had taken for her to work out she really belonged with him.

"Bree, you still there? You seem rather quiet," Chloe asked softly.

"Yeah, sure am, was just thinking about the time you Bellas came to the retreat and Fat Amy and Beca both got caught."

"I was pretty angry that day," Chloe remembered. "You seemed to enjoy Beca being in the trap too Bree, if I recall correctly."

"Well I can't deny that…" Aubrey started. She then changed the conversation entirely.

"So I've been thinking and I want a change. There is no way that I would ever leave this place. _(Without a really good reason she thought)_. But I can't think of a way to satisfy my need for music here. Music and death-defying team-building exercises don't really mesh. Now that I have the lodge up and running quite smoothly, I feel it's time to branch out with some of my time and music is calling me." Aubrey took a breath, Chloe waited patiently on the end of the line, she knew her former room-mate and she had more to say.

"Maybe I could do something like you do Chlo, part-time running the lodge, and part-time something else. In reality, I've got this place running so well that I could step back and hand more responsibility to someone else. It would have to be someone I trusted." There was another pause while she thought a little more. "Stacie has finished her last modelling tour and is now looking for something more stable, isn't she?"

"Yep, last I heard, she had had enough of the touring and wanted to settle down, yes. Maybe you should ring her." Even though she had been a model the last few years, and quite a successful one at that, Stacie did quite well at college. Many people were fooled by her looks and the 'hunter', but Stacie was happy to allow them. She was confident in her own skin and didn't worry too much about what other people thought.

"Actually Chlo, she is coming here tonight. I don't want to ask her yet, but I will see what she's up to and if she has any plans. By the way, since Stacie is back, we could do something with Beca and her this weekend."

"Sounds like fun Bree, but maybe we should do something other than the activities that you have out at the lodge. I'm not sure I really want to go on that waterslide again anytime soon."

"No probs Chlo, just let me know what you want to do. I should go and triple check that Stacie's room is all ready. Have a good night, talk to you soon."

"Bye Bree."

Chloe hung up the phone and was happy. She has many ideas running through her hear as she considered what they would do this weekend. She was so consumed with ideas that she almost missed the soft knock at the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

As Chloe opened the door and saw Beca there with tears still shimmering in her eyes, she wasn't sure what so say. However, she did know what to do. She enveloped Beca in a hug and stayed there until she could feel Beca's body relax. Beca wasn't ready to talk yet, so Chloe just took her inside and they sat down on the couch together.

Chloe went over to her computer, which was on the desk on the other side of the lounge room. She scrolled through the playlists looking for the right music. She was looking for music that would have a calming influence, and not bring more tears out yet. Since this was Beca, music with a good beat would work better than something slow or soft.

Once Chloe was happy with her selections, she set it playing and went back to the couch. Beca was still really unsettled, so Chloe sat with her arm around her while they listened to the music.

Beca fell asleep there after a while, and Chloe stayed there until she was too hungry. She didn't want Beca to wake up and find herself alone, but at the same time, there was only so long before Chloe's stomach would wake Beca up.

Chloe eventually decided to order some pizza. After she had done that, she rang Jesse and let him know that Beca was sleeping and she was looking after her. Jesse was glad she was being looked after so he thanked Chloe. He was in the middle of scoring some very intense scenes for the movie and was supposed to have them done by lunchtime tomorrow. They weren't working the way he wanted though, so he was pretty sure he would end up pulling an all-nighter.

He wished that he could be there for Beca, he had picked up on the fact there was something bothering her when she kissed him before. However, work was talking the front seat at the moment. So instead Chloe was looking out for his wife. He felt a pang of jealousy when he realised that. He knew that Beca was very close to Chloe, and there were things that she knew that he didn't. Some of that was because of all the years living together as Bellas. But he had lived with Beca for a long time now too. He was usually fine with the relationship that Beca had with Chloe. Some people had questioned it over the years, especially before they were married. There were many who thought that Beca and Chloe were together. There were quite a lot of people who thought that it was a better pairing. But Jesse had stayed with Beca, they got married and now they were expecting a child.

Beca would never cheat on him, he was confident of that. He did know his wife well enough to know that. He just couldn't shrug off the jealousy that there were things he couldn't do for his wife that her friend could. But since he had no time to help her now, it seemed that there wasn't much he could do about it. He decided to pull a Beca and run away from those thoughts. He instead put all his concentration into his work. That was one thing that Beca never understood about Jesse, how he could shut out all the things he was thinking about and just focus on work. Beca, on the other hand, put the emotions and thoughts that she was feeling or wasn't sure what to do with into the music.

Back at Chloe's place the smell of pizza arriving at the door was enough to rouse Beca. She opened her eyes a little disorientated, wondering where she was and why there was pizza. It took her only a few seconds to recognise the lounge room that she was in. Her body naturally followed the smell of the pizza and she found it and a surprised Chloe near the kitchen sink. Chloe was getting some plates and drinks ready for them and almost dropped them when she turned to see Beca watching her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

After they had devoured the pizza, which didn't take long because Beca's emotional realisations had made her ravenous. Usually Beca could eat quite a large amount for her small body, but even that paled in comparison to how fast she inhaled the pizza. Chloe actually found herself looking through the cupboards and fridge to see what else she had that she could offer Beca after the pizza. It turned out that she didn't need it right now, but she knew she had a few packs of biscuits, 2 packs of Beca's favourite chips, 1 tub of ice-cream and a few other assorted items. Chloe was hoping to be prepared for whatever was needed tonight as it had been quite a while since she had seen Beca quite so upset.

Beca usually only allowed people who knew her really well, to ever see how she was really going (basically Chloe and Jesse). Her hard exterior that she had perfected over the years was all that most people saw. This was fine with her, and most of the time fine with others too. She was successful at the music business, and really apart from that didn't need to associate with many people. Most of her friends from college were still around and they all had lived with her, so knew that under her exterior she was a person who did feel, just like them.

Chloe sat patiently at the table waiting for Beca to start to talk. When she didn't, Chloe offered to do something with their hands while they talked if that would make Beca more comfortable. This Beca appreciated, because she knew that Chloe was trying to help. In the end they decided to give Beca some putty to play with. Beca still didn't open up right away, but her brain was ticking away trying to work out where to start. As she was doing that, her hands were making little snakes with the putty. After the pile of snakes, she went on to making little balls. By the end of the conversation the putty had been made into so many little objects (often the same thing over and over) but it was a nice security blanket and occupied Beca in a way that helped with her anxiety. Beca was right, Chloe did know how to calm her down.

When Beca finally found a place to start she basically spilled out the story of her ex to Chloe as she had realised it that afternoon. Chloe had not been sure whether she should ask questions at first, but soon realised that Beca needed to get it out of her system first, and then she would be able to ask questions later. Once Beca finished, she was crying so hard that all she really wanted to do was run away. Instead, Chloe got there first and wrapped her again in the biggest hug she could manage. They stayed that way until Chloe felt Beca pulling away ready to talk again.

This time they went over to the couch, as it was easier for Beca to curl up into a ball if she wanted, or she could also stretch out. Chloe chose to sit on the floor facing Beca, feeling intuitively that it was where she was supposed to be. This Beca realised was so completely right, but she didn't know it until she saw her there.

Chloe had questions running through her head and scrolled through them trying to find the right one to start with. But instead of asking any of them she found herself telling Beca something she had never intended on telling anyone.

When Chloe was 12 or 13 (she can't remember exactly because she has tried to forget it all these years, but it is still there in her head anyway) she was scarred in a way that she never expected. Frankly no one would have expected it. Her parents didn't, they thought that he was trustworthy. Chloe's piano teacher had them all fooled. He was working slowly and surely at grooming her. He used to make her feel special. He often touched her on the arms or other safe places, just getting her used to his hands being on her. They used to spend extra time at his place because she was quite gifted at the piano. One night he stopped being the safe person who they all thought he was. Instead Chloe found herself on the receiving end of his unwanted advances. He started kissing her neck and was moving up her cheek to her lips.

Initially she was stunned, which is how he managed to get as far as he did. But then her reflexes kicked in. She pulled away and ran as fast as she could. She ran all the way home and dived straight into her bed. Her parents never knew about it, all they knew was that she had come home early from practice and suddenly wouldn't go back to her lessons. They couldn't even get her to touch a piano for many years. It was sad for them as they knew her playing was something special and couldn't work out why she kept refusing. Chloe was scared, she didn't know if it was her fault, or even if she had done something to encourage it. But she was just a kid really and didn't know better. She didn't know that it was not her fault at all.

Chloe found herself shaking now as she finished telling her story. Beca, although she was usually not one to initiate physical contact, was now holding Chloe. She pulled her up onto the couch with her. She softly told Chloe over and over that it wasn't her fault, and that the man should have never done that. He was the adult and it was his problem not hers at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Beca and Chloe stayed in each other's arms in silent comfort until they both fell asleep. They woke up the next morning sprawled awkwardly on the couch in each other's arms. They both looked confused at each other, then realised what had happened. They didn't stay there for long though, because nature called.

Chloe found some clothes for Beca that were a little big, but not too bad at all really. Once they were both dressed and had breakfast they knew it was time to talk about yesterday. Chloe started by letting Beca know that Jesse wasn't going to worry because they had talked yesterday. Beca was a little surprised at that, because she had been gone all night after all, but then realised that Jesse would have been working, so may not have noticed until later today anyway.

Beca and Chloe decided that an outing today was in order. They both called in sick to work, which wasn't too hard since they were both working at "On Pitch" today. Since they were the bosses, and there was no recording today, it was just a matter of telling the others not to expect them in today. They then decided to go for a drive and see where they ended up.

While they were driving, they had the opportunity to ask the questions that had been running through their heads last night as they revealed their pasts to each other. It was actually quite therapeutic to ask and answer the questions. They spent most of the day doing that. When it was time for lunch they stopped for burgers, then turned around and drove back towards Chloe's place. It was quite an amazing day really, because Beca forgot about food for most of it. She would have missed lunch had Chloe not wanted it today, which was unheard of.

When Beca was finally feeling hungry, she realised it must be about dinner time. She knew it was time to go home to Jesse. Chloe knew that too. They were close and sometimes ended up in odd situations, like the couch last night, but they were friends and Beca was married. Chloe was happy that Beca had Jesse, she wasn't jealous. Sometimes she wished that she had someone for herself, but it wasn't happening yet, so she was ok with that.

Before they parted, Chloe remembered to ask Beca about hanging with Aubrey and Stacie for the weekend. They both agreed that it was exactly what they needed. Chloe gave Beca one last hug, encouraged her to talk to Jesse about her past and pushed her out the door.

Once Beca was gone, Chloe started to cry again. It had been an emotional day, and she was exhausted. Forgetting all about dinner, she crawled into bed, pulling the sheets tight around her. She curled up into a ball and waited for sleep. She knew tomorrow she would be fine, but she just needed a little longer away from the world before she was.

Beca took her time walking back home. She wasn't sure what she would face when she saw Jesse. She wasn't really scared, she was sure he wouldn't ever hurt her, but how he would react to her being gone was not clear. She gathered herself enough to open the door and walk in.

Jesse wasn't in the lounge room though, so there was no one behind the door. She wandered through their place. She checked Jesse's studio, and he wasn't there either. Beca was about to give up looking and just go and buy some food, when the door opened and Jesse was there with dinner. It was Taco Bell, her favourite. For Beca, it was the equivalent of him coming home with a whole bunch of roses and telling her how much he loved her.

She ran to him, jumping into his arms. He dropped the dinner, but luckily nothing was spoiled. They just held each other for a while until they were ready. Instead of making it to the table to eat, they had a picnic on the lounge room floor. After that they spent the rest of the night talking in each other's arms. When Beca was too upset to talk, he just held her and told her it was all going to be ok.

She was amazed that he didn't hold it against her. That thought had worried her for years. She knew that she should have told him before now, and some aspects of it she had. She had told him enough, but now he knew it all. Now she knew it all too.

Instead of the dread and pain that she had experienced for many years, she had a feeling of relief and closure. It was time to be finished with her ex. He had tormented her enough. There was no reason for him to have any power over her anymore. In the morning Jesse and Beca were going to find anything that was from him and have a little bonfire. The burning of it would bring the end. They fell asleep curled up into each other and for the first time in a while they felt at peace again.

Beca considered all that had happened as she lay there in Jesse's arms. It seems that by being honest with each other about their pasts Beca and Chloe had become closer as friends. It helped Beca and Jesse's marriage as well, so it was a win-win. As strange as it was for Beca to express feelings, and share them, she knew that it would be something she would need to improve as she went on. She was still unsure of how she and Chloe fit together and where exactly the lines were. She knew that she would have to work on that another day. For now though, she was going to sleep, then tomorrow get on with the working week so they could enjoy the weekend.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Aubrey had no trouble getting Stacie to agree to the weekend. Stacie quickly volunteered to organise the weekend. This worked out well, as it gave Stacie something to do to pass the time.

They all found themselves up at an ungodly hour (at least in Beca's mind) on a Saturday morning. It wasn't long before the 4 of them were all packed up into Aubrey's car. Aubrey was driving, Chloe was riding in the back with Beca and Stacie was riding shotgun. Beca had wanted to have a competition of sorts to work out who sat where. But one look at Stacie's long legs had everyone in agreement that she needed more space than either Beca, who was tiny, or Chloe.

Since they had only a weekend, they couldn't go too far. But Stacie had insisted on choosing a surprise location for them to go. It seemed a little odd to Aubrey to be driving with no idea where. At the same time, she didn't really want to be a passenger. With that in mind she huffed a little and then agreed to drive wherever Stacie told her too. Stacie had some fun with this. In fact she deliberately had them go the wrong way a few times to disguise where they were going.

Stacie had organised for them to stay the night in a luxury hotel. But first before they got there they were going to spend some time at the zoo. Stacie remembered how much Beca loved Red Pandas. She knew that Chloe loved animals and would have a great day there. Stacie herself was not all that fussed about animals, and could take them or leave them, but was fairly confident that she would enjoy the day with her 3 friends regardless of where they were.

What she hadn't predicted was the reaction that she got from Aubrey when she realised where they were going to spend the day. Aubrey started to cry and wasn't going to leave the car. With some coaxing, Stacie and Chloe had her out of the car and walking in the right direction. Beca had to stand in the other direction as a deterrent. They paused near the entrance to make sure she in fact was going to be ok. It turned out that Aubrey had wanted to go to the zoo all her life, but her parents never took her. Her father being the military man that he was wouldn't allow outings that were not essential. He didn't consider Aubrey ever really needing to know about animals, or at least the ones they had at a zoo. Her mother was too scared about what would happen if she disagreed, so she had never taken her even when he was deployed overseas.

Why Aubrey had never taken herself as an adult was still a mystery, but the girls figured that it must have been so ingrained in her that it was a waste of time that she wasn't able to convince herself to go, even though she really wanted to.

So here she was standing outside the gates both super excited to finally be going to a zoo, and also apprehensive that her father may have been right all along and it would be a big waste of her time.

Once inside the gates, Aubrey looked at the map that had been placed in her hands as she paid for her ticket. She was a little overwhelmed. It was basically a coloured mud map with little symbols all over it. Down the side were all the little symbols and explanations of what animals they were. Chloe looked down at it and had no idea where to start, let alone be able to navigate herself around the zoo with it. She sighed and wished that she had not failed maps. Quickly though she smiled, shrugged and relinquished the fate of her day to the other girls.

Beca wanted to run straight to find the red pandas. Chloe had to physically hold her back and remind her that Aubrey had never been to a zoo, so they really should be going at her pace. Beca then announced that since Aubrey should be setting the pace, she should also be in charge of planning their day. Since the only 2 others to convince were Stacie and Aubrey, and Stacie couldn't care less about what they did, it was pretty easy for them to all agree that Beca had made a good suggestion.

Aubrey sat down for a few minutes and worked out a route through the zoo that basically criss-crossed the zoo, but in an intricate pattern that ensured that they would see every animal and not retrace their steps much at all. The girls stared in amazement for a few seconds. However, when they thought about it, they realised that Aubrey would never have done anything else. Her perfectionism had been tempered enough to allow some spontaneity in her life (like this weekend), but was not completely gone. By the end of the day they would be thanking her for her planning though, so they nodded in agreement quickly. Stacie just looked impressed and had a huge grin on her face, which wasn't to dissimilar to the grin she wore at the retreat as Fat Amy realised she was in love with Bumper!

Beca was impressed that Aubrey had even factored in stops for snacks, lunch and even an ice-cream break. She may not seem like it to some, but eating was important to her, not as important as it was to Fat Amy, but her body did work better if it was fed on a regular basis.

They set off to look at the first animals that Aubrey had chosen…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

As they wandered around the zoo they played 2 games. The first was to sing any song that came into their heads about (or had something to do with) the animal they were looking at. It turned out that there were so many songs they could think of for some animals (such as frogs) that they had to limit it to 2 songs per animal. They did consider singing them in a riff-off style competition, but were content to just limit the songs. They did rather well actually. They did have to resort to quite a few associations, (they didn't know too many songs about ostriches or capybaras) but that was part of the fun.

The other game was a physical challenge. They had to take it in turns to imitate each of the animals. This at first was a little disappointing to Beca who wanted to see Aubrey have to imitate lots of the animals. But they quickly agreed that taking turns would be better as they would only have to do a quarter of them each and they could spend more time watching the others. Aubrey released a big sigh of relief when the others agreed that she wouldn't have to imitate them all.

After a long physical day at the zoo the girls were about to drop. Their legs were tired. They hadn't been doing the same level of cardio since they finished college, and even though their bodies didn't really betray that fact, they didn't have the stamina they used to.

So they all piled back into the car quite weary. In the back of their minds they were wondering what Stacie had in store for them. Stacie had decided to drive to save having to direct Aubrey when they were tired. Stacie knew that if she let Aubrey drive they were more likely to end in a fight. Especially with Beca in the back, who, when she was tired, was more inclined to push Aubrey's buttons than normal. Aubrey was too tired to push the point too hard, which was a relief to them all really.

Stacie pulled up in front of their hotel, and tossed the keys to the valet. Employees of the hotel were already emptying the boot of the car onto a trolley and once they were ready, rolled it into the foyer. Beca, Chloe and Aubrey were still gobsmacked when they exited the elevator at their floor and found themselves staring at the suite that Stacie had organised for them. It was massive!

The suite was one that overlooked a large park and you could see for quite a long way because it was so high up. Beca inwardly sighed and realised that she would be looking out those windows a fair bit tonight. Even though it was dark, the twinkling of the lights reminded her of when she was small and she would by entranced by the "fairy town" that they created. Now she was older and 'badass' she would never admit that to anyone, but she was looking out the window with a smile, not a smirk that normally covered her face.

They wandered around the suite trying to take it all in. The first room they found was the lounge. There were 2 lounges set up to enjoy the view. They were both big enough to sleep on, and looked like they might offer a nice night too. Off in the corner, but still a good angle from the lounges was a large tv. In another corner there was a small bar, the obligatory bar fridge and a sink. The next room they found was the main bedroom. It had a king size bed. It was also rotated to face the view. Chloe couldn't help marvelling at how the hotel utilised the view so well. The next room they entered was the bathroom. It had a large spa bath. So large in fact that all 4 of the women could have been in it and still not touched each other! The 2nd bedroom was very similar to main. It had the same king bed in it, and was also rotated to face outside. The only difference was it was a little smaller.

As they ended the spontaneous tour of the suite, they all looked at Stacie in wonder. Aubrey just looked impressed, Chloe and Beca looked like they had questions, but both decided to hold back. Instead the 3 of them pulled her into a group hug and congratulated her. After the fun of the zoo and the amazing place to stay, they were not sure that it could have been a better day.

That is until Beca's stomach started to rumble again. It had been a few hours since they last ate. They looked at Stacie. Chloe was thinking to herself that she really was too tired to go out for dinner after the long day and just wanted to chill in the suite. It seemed that Stacie had been able to predict this too. All those years living together as Bellas, Stacie had got to know her friends quite well. Stacie just pulled out the menus for room service (that were over near the bar) and told them that they could have whatever they wanted it was all part of the package! Beca excitedly scanned the menu, and then read it much more carefully as she planned out what she would eat. She didn't want to miss out on eating something she would really enjoy. Chloe and Stacie were quick to choose something. The only one who looked sceptical was Aubrey. She ran a retreat after all, she was wondering what kind of 'package' Stacie had organised for them to have this amazing suite, a stocked bar and whatever they want to eat from room service.

Stacie noticed Aubrey's slight frown and grabbed her by the wrist dragging her into the main bedroom to find out what was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Aubrey had considered complaining or objecting to being dragged off into a closed bedroom, but decided against it. Instead she just looked at Stacie with a glare that demanded an answer. Stacie was a little taken aback at first, since she hadn't seen that face on Aubrey since the Bella's retreat in senior year before Worlds. Stacie being Stacie, winked at her and was relieved when she saw Aubrey soften. However, Stacie knew she would be required to talk soon.

Briefly she considered different ways she could distract Aubrey and not have to answer. She briefly wondered what it would be like to push Aubrey against the door and kiss her until she forgot all about her questions. However she dismissed that idea quickly. She really had no desire to do that. She wasn't even sure where it came from. Stacie hadn't had a boyfriend in quite a while, so she chalked it up to that. She also remembered a friend in high school telling her the best way to shut someone up was to kiss them. Stacie figured that the idea came from there, and went back to planning other ways to distract Aubrey.

Aubrey watched Stacie closely and realised she was thinking for too long. Realising that Stacie was trying to weasel her way out of answering the question they both knew was coming, even though neither had voiced it, Aubrey's glare turned into a frown. Without giving Stacie any more time for excuses, Aubrey went straight to the point.

"So Stacie, how exactly it is that we have this amazing place to stay, a full bar and unlimited food?"

Stacie gulped in some air, taking a few seconds to think again. She realised that the truth would be better and easier than anything else she could come up with.

"Well, it's actually all part of a deal I have with the manager of the hotel. It's my new job. I've been given this suite to live in for the next two weeks, and can have people stay too if I want. In return I am going to be the face of this hotel. The photo shoot is next Friday, and it won't be long before my face is all over this place. However I will move out before that happens.

This was my way of coming back to Atlanta where everyone was. I really missed you all. I have been thinking about doing something other than modelling for a little while now, as you may know." Aubrey nodded, still a little stunned at what she was hearing, so she wasn't able to get any words out.

Stacie continued, "I have been thinking that maybe doing some small modelling jobs would be a good idea, because I am getting lots of work still, and it is fun most of the time. However there is more to me than just my looks, and I would like to be able to show that, if only to remind myself again."

Aubrey finally had words to say, "why didn't you tell me this when you came to stay at the retreat a few days ago Stace?"

"I honestly am not sure. I thought it was because I just wanted to see you girls and see how things went. Sometimes I feel like so much of my life is public knowledge, it's nice to have some things that are private and special just to me. Being in the public eye is hard, much harder than I imagined. I guess that's part of why I'm thinking about modelling less too. I will be able to be a normal person a little bit more. You know, shop for milk without being hounded…"

Aubrey pulled her in tight, "I'm so sorry you feel that way about your life. I have no idea what you must be going through, but I'm here if you need me Stace."

"Great, thanks Bree, I need good friends right now. I know I have them, and I know that I need to talk to you girls more, I guess I just forgot. Maybe we could sit down and talk with Chloe and Beca while we wait for the food?"

"Sounds like a good plan."

After the dinner they all decided to chill on the lounges for a while and they talked about anything and everything until they were too tired. Beca was the first to move towards bed, but the others soon followed. It had been a long day, and they were both emotionally and physically tired. It did not take long before all 4 of them were sleeping soundly.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

In the morning Aubrey woke first. Not that this was surprising at all. She looked over and noticed Stacie was still sleeping. She quietly went out into the lounge to order some coffees and bacon and eggs (that she knew Chloe would love) from room service for them. It wasn't long before Chloe was up and about either. They knew they would have to drag Beca out of bed, but Stacie should be easy enough to wake when the breakfast arrived. The two of them just sat on the lounges looking out on the view. It was a comfortable time, quiet, but comfortable. They had lived together for most of Aubrey's college time, so 'being together' doing nothing was easy for them.

When the food came, Stacie did wake up, in fact the smell was enough for her to come out on her own. Stacie volunteered to wake up Beca. She eventually managed to get her up with a combination of tickling and jumping on the bed. Beca was unimpressed with the trampoline she was 'sleeping' on, so eventually made her way out of the bed. After breakfast they all got ready for the day. With one bathroom it took a while to complete, but eventually they were all ready.

They looked at Stacie wondering what the plan for the day was. Turned out she hadn't planned anything for the day, since she had wanted to see how the zoo went before she took them on more outings. Also she wasn't sure how much energy they would all have. She knew that the other 3 worked quite hard during the week, and wasn't sure how much rest they would need. Seems Stacie really was the one for ideas, because it was exactly the right call.

The first thing they did was pile into the car and play a game of "Let the coin decide where we go". This involved Aubrey driving this time (it was her car after all), Beca shotgun, Chloe and Stacie in the back. Chloe insisted on being the coin tosser, and Stacie was the official coin reader. Chloe tossed the coin to decide which way to turn the car at each intersection. Stacie however being the coin reader got to choose whether it was a 'straight ahead' intersection or a turn. Heads was left and tails was right.

They played this for about an hour, ending up in dead-end streets only 3 times. And only twice did Aubrey have to overrule because she was asked to drive the wrong way down one-way streets. Aubrey was NOT under any circumstances going to do that, even when Beca tried to convince her to loosen up and let go.

Beca was quite hungry again. As they spotted a Taco Bell, she was glad she didn't have to plead for them to stop. Instead, Aubrey automatically slowed and they all went in for some lunch.

After lunch they decided to go to a park and play "who am I and why am I here". This involved them sitting in a spot where they could watch people easily, while being out of earshot of those they were watching. It could have been creepy, but they were still out in the open, so it would have looked to others like they were just chilling and enjoying the sunny day.

Chloe had the first go. It was a kid with a dog and his mum. "Hmm, the mum looks annoyed like there is anywhere else she would rather be. So I'll go with she's a highly paid criminal lawyer who is fighting for custody over her son, who really wants to live with his dad. But the dad lives in Texas, and the mum doesn't want to have to leave Atlanta just to see hey boy. The boy just wishes a decision could be made about living arrangements because he doesn't like being in the middle."

"Not bad Chlo", said Beca, "Aubrey, how about those two down near the water?"

"Oh that's easy, they're married with 5 kids. They are on a date trying to remember why it is they got together, and trying for a few hours to forget they have all those kids waiting to be picked up and for chaos to resume."

They continued like this for a while longer, that is until Beca noticed a man selling ice cream from a little cart. She was walking towards the man before the others even had seen him. However, when she came back with 4 ice creams, all thoughtfully chosen based on their own favourite flavours, they were thankful.

Chloe found herself falling asleep soon afterwards. Aubrey went for a walk. Stacie lay back and watched the clouds float by in the blue sky. Beca got lost in her own thoughts. This was a nice place to sit, and there weren't too many people. She was able to just be. That was until she remembered that only a few days ago she had been doing the same thing. She now did have some more clarity, but she was still confused about things. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about them now though, so she just pulled her phone out of her pocket and listened to music. She wished she had brought her headphones, but instead she just put the volume on low, and placed it near her ear.

Once Aubrey came back from her walk, they once again piled back into the car and headed back to their suite.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

After dinner back in the suite Aubrey asked Stacie to come with her and talk for a little while. Stacie agreed, and they went into Stacie's room to chat.

"So, apart from this hotel job, do you have anything else lined up yet Stace?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Well, like you I have been thinking of a change. I was wondering if you would like to become a partner with me in the Lodge? I was hoping that I would be able to work part time, and you might want to work the other half of the time. I have wanted to do something with music for a while and think this might be the way and time to do it."

"What plans do you have for your music?"

"I'm not sure yet, I had really only gotten as far as to ask you to partner me in the lodge." Aubrey replied truthfully.

A grin appeared on Stacie's face. "I would love to help you run the lodge. I know we can work well together and I would love to be able to use some of the skills that have been wasting away while I model." She smirked, then added, "And I'm sure I will be able to encourage people to do things without having to resort to barking at them!"

Aubrey was taken aback briefly, and then composed herself again.

Stace then asked "Why don't you ask Beca and Chloe about the possibility of a country album? I know you have always harboured a love for country music, even though you tried to hide it behind the 'Ladies of the 80's'. When we have friends who make music as well as Beca and Chloe, why not utilise them?"

"Wow, Stace, that's perfect. I'd love to try that. Even if it didn't work out, at least I would be able to say that I had tried my dream. I can always try some other way of bringing music into my working life if I need to."

"I'm not just a pretty face," Stacie smirked again.

Aubrey agreed, and then they went out to ask Beca and Chloe what they thought.

Chloe had already had a heads up that Aubrey had wanted to do something with music, as they had discussed it briefly during the week. Beca on the other hand, was a little taken aback. It had never occurred to her that Aubrey wasn't entirely happy working out in the woods. She had just accepted that Aubrey was living out her dream of ordering people around and making them better people in the process. It seemed a natural extension of what she had done with the Bellas. But then the more she thought about it, this was the other side of what she had done with the Bellas. It was the music. Music flowed through Beca just like blood did. She understood its call. Aubrey must be hearing it too.

"So Bree, the call of the music is too strong then?" Beca joked with a smirk, not realising that Aubrey was feeling exactly that.

"I know you are trying to make fun of me right now Beca, but yes it is."

Stacie jumped in before they had a chance to escalate to an argument, there had been enough of those for her lifetime. "I was thinking she could do a country album."

Chloe responded with "I think that's a great idea. So very you Aubrey. I'm sure Beca can make it different and special enough to work. It will be a good challenge for her to work on something so different."

Beca seemed deep in thought, which the girls knew meant she was already thinking of ideas for the album.

Chloe then shook Aubrey's hand and welcomed her aboard.

Now that that was taken care of, Stacie suggested that they go out dancing for their last night of the weekend together. Even though Beca was pregnant and couldn't drink, they could have fun. It had been a while since they had all danced together.

They exited the hotel and walked a block or so until they found a club that was playing music that Beca could tolerate.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Once the weekend was over, they all went back into their normal lives.

In time Aubrey and Stacie worked out the details of how they would divide the work at the Lodge between the 2 of them. It wasn't a quick fix, but they had time and they worked hard together to make it work from them both.

Chloe's life continued on as it was before really. From her point of view, one of her great friends had come back to live nearby and she was going to see more of Aubrey because of the new arrangements. She hoped that their time at 'On Pitch' would coincide, but knew that with Aubrey having time off from the lodge, there would be more time for them to hang anyway. She was looking forward to the few changes that would come, but basically her life worked before the weekend, and will continue to work after it. She loved her life and her friends. That was Chloe to a tee, life was a great place to be and she loved living it. Even with the hardships she had faced and would come up against, she was optimistic that everything would work out.

Chloe was also looking forward to Beca and Jesse welcoming their little baby into the world. She was looking forward to having a special place in the baby's life & she knew that she would have it. It wasn't hers, but she would love it and help Beca and Jesse raise it.

One afternoon soon after the weekend, Beca found herself back up on the mountain again. She thought about the weekend. She had had a great time out with the girls for the weekend. She felt like Stacie and Aubrey not only had a great time with friends, but also come up with a solution for what's next for both of them. She really was looking forward to working with Aubrey in the studio, and it would be nice to have Stacie back closer again. Spending time with her friends was quite enjoyable. She thought back to the things she and Chloe had talked about last week. She loved that they both could talk and be able to share their lives with each other in a way that was vulnerable, but safe. She loves having Chloe around. Beca loves the fact that she & Jesse have a solid enough marriage that Chloe isn't a threat to him. She loves having a best friend at work and her husband at home. She loved being able to hang with Chloe outside of work. She was looking forward to having this baby. Raising it with Jesse, and with help from Chloe. Life was looking up. She no longer worried that she was too close to Chloe. She felt secure in her marriage and in her friendships, and for the first time in a long time was looking forward to what the future held in store.


End file.
